How Can I Talk to My Partner?
In order to protect yourself and your partner in any relationship, it is important that you are able to communicate. The beginning of a relationship is the usually the easiest time to have meaningful conversations, since you are just getting to know each other. This is the best time, even if it feels awkward, to discuss sex. You both need to know what you are expecting from the relationship.
Before becoming sexually involved, it is important that you and your partner discuss the issue, not just before the act itself. If you are a virgin willing to wait until you are in love and/or married to engage in sex, it is necessary that you make your boyfriend aware of that at the beginning of any relationship. If he cannot handle it, maybe you shouldn't be together. A man who cannot respect your decision on sexual abstinence is not someone you need to be with it. Don't feel bad: pat yourself on the back for being someone with self-control, who is willing to save the best for the most worthy.
If you wait until you are just minutes away from the act to talk, it will definitely be harder. When you have a moment together and won't be interrupted, it is best to take a time like this to discuss the topic of sex and find where you each stand on this touchy, yet vital, issue.
- Avoid having sex if you are not ready. Do not allow any sort of pressure or influence of others to be the reason behind you losing the most priceless gift you could give your future spouse.
- Know the signs/situations that suggest sexual intimacy about to occur, e.g. dimming of lights, locking of doors, etc.
- Make sure you have a plan for how you would deal with the situation before you are actually put in it. This way, you will always be mentally prepared and never caught off guard.
- If you are not willing to have sex with a man, do not 'tease' him. In other words, don't do or say things purposely to arouse him. Males are very sensitive, in a different way than most women. When a woman teases a man and then refuses to have sex with him, some men are offended and feel rejected. In some cases, if this only done once, some men consider it romantic and do not take it personally. If this behavior continues, however, it is like torture: they see but cannot have. It is like waving a juicy piece of well- seasoned meat in front of a dieting person. If teased and not given, he might 'take' you by force. Therefore, if you plan to abstain, don't torment your partner.
- If you have already engaged in sex, it's never too late to quit. It will be difficult, but you will gain your self-respect back, even gain some respect from others. There's so much to gain from abstinence; think about it.
Don't think you can do it? Well, then, talk to your doctor; ask what methods are considered the best and most affordable. But don't you ever forget that there is no sure protection from pregnancy and STDs like abstinence!
